Ask a Warrior! Hosted by Hollyleaf
by LovelyLadyAnne
Summary: Hello peeplez! Welcome to Ask A Warrior! Everybody reviews and posts questions for one dead warrior and a live! Hosted by Hollyleaf! You can ask her questions too, but please review soon! I promise this WILL be active!
1. Hollyleaf's Anger Issues

**WARNING! CONTAINS SOMEWHAT MATURE CONTENT!!**

_Hollyleaf_- Hello! Welcome to Ask A Warrior, an-

_Random Kit 1_- Shut up!

_Hollyleaf_- Fine mister Bossy. Our fist question is for uh….me! 'How old is your grandfather?'

_Hollyleaf_- Well, why don't you just ask my f**kin grandfather then? Why waste time to ask me? Skip. 'Are you dead?"

_Hollyleaf_- Hehe, sorry! Nice try though! 'Are you buddies with Ivykit?'

_Hollyleaf_- *puts her paws on her hips* That was a stupid question. Go hug a tree, you f**kin hippie. 'What were you thinking when Graystripe came?' Um, Blackstar insulted Millie, and Graystripe told him to quote "SHOVE IT UP YOUR CRACK!" So I was thinking, "Firestar never said you were this BADA**!"

_Snowkit_- Any questions for me and Larchkit?

_Hollyleaf_- Oh sure honey! 'What the hell is wrong with your ears?'

_Snowkit_- Nothing! *cries*

_Hollyleaf_- *comforts him* Awww, you made him cry! Why don't you just go to f**kin hell ya b**ch. 'Why do you cuss so much?'

_Hollyleaf_- Cause you freakin viewers are annoying the sh*t outta me. 'Larchkit, why did you die?'

_Larchkit_- Cause I was too young to say "Ferncloud, go f**kin eat some fish."

_Hollyleaf_- 'I think Larchkit is learning from you.' DAYYYYMMM! Who yells cuss words in Starclan? F**kin Yellowfang, that's who. By the way, only questions ya redneck cat. Oh not a cat? THEN GO SHOVE A SOCK UP YER CRACK YA B**CH!!

_Random Apprentice_- Take a chill pill!

_Hollyleaf_- What do I look like, a f**kin Twoleg? I don't take f**kin aspirin!

Please Review! Next weeks questions will be made on Runningwind and Breezepelt! Please, insert flame into Breezepelt's questions! Also, remeber to provove Hollyleaf's anger issues!

_Hollyleaf_- I have no f**kin anger issues!

_Me_- Right...


	2. Greek Gods and Metro Station

**WARNING!! MAY CONTAIN SOMEWHAT MATURE CONTENT!!**

Hollyleaf- Welcome! Today we're with Breezepelt, the b**ch and Runningwind who pwns him.

Breezepelt- HEY!!!!

Runningwind- Shake, shake, sh- Oh sh*t! Sorry, I like Metro Station

Breezepelt- Nerd.

Runningwind- I AM ZUES!! *shoots him in the butt with lighting*

Breezepelt- OWW!!!! B-but you're dead!

Runningwind- Zuessy is never dead.

Hollyleaf- Shut up so we can start the f**kin show!

Breezepelt- *sulks*

Hollyleaf- Our first question is for me from Wildheart231 and it says, 'How does it feel to have two tons of rocks fall on you?' Well what do you guess? It felt pretty f**kin bad! But I will not reveal if I am dead. HA F**KIN VIEWERS!!

Hollyleaf- Our second question is from Dappleday for Breezepelt 'Do you love Hollyleaf?'

Breezepelt- Umm…that's a little bit personal….

Hollyleaf- THAT'S NASTY WE'RE RELATED YOU MOTHER F**KER!! *slaps him hard*

Hollyleaf- Um…moving on another from Dappleday to Breezepelt 'Why did you go mentally insane?'

Breezepelt- I never went mentally insane!!!!

Runningwind- You did if you loved her.

Hollyleaf- Hey! No insulting the host! I'm Aphrodite!! *makes him ugly*

Runningwind- Oh sh*t! I was trying to make him not love you!

Hollyleaf- Oops, sorry. *turns him back* Right. Another from Dappleday, "Runningwind, which rouge killed you?'

Breezepelt- O.o..

Runningwind- DAYYYYMMM! I read umm…*surfs internet on cell phone* Rising Storm about 3 years ago! Wait…Tiggystar. The F**kin b**ch.

Hollyleaf- Ooooh! I like cussers! *kisses him on cheek*

Breezepelt- What the hell!

Hollyleaf- Umm, another from Dappleday 'Do you blame Firestar?'

Runningwind- No! Firestar's f**kin awesome!!! Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it!

Hollyleaf- Um…okay! Our next question is for Breezepelt from Starpelt1543 'Why are you such an annoying douchebag? You should just LIVE with Crowfeather hating you.

Nightcloud, you, AND Crowfeather are all ho's, so it's bad genes.'

Breezepelt- Go to hell! I am awesome! My dad does not hate me! You suck, b**ch!

Hollyleaf- Reverse what he said, You rock!!! He cussed, so…*gives him a kiss*

Firestar- *watching from his den* OH SHIZZLE!!! *comes to studio* GAY!!!!

Hollyleaf- How is this gay?! *is still kissing him*

Firestar- You have a show!! And you're related! And you're from different clans! And you're just like your mother!

Hollyleaf- Oh, right. Haha. *blows Breezepelt a kiss* This is for Runningwind, from Starpelt1543. 'Why are you so awesome?'

Runningwind- 'Si seniorita. Zeus is awesome. *throws her a Runningwind holding a lighting bolt plushie.*

Hollyleaf- Well looks like we're out of time!

Runningwind- Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it!

Hollyleaf and Breezepelt- *go and make out under the stage*

**Next time, we will have Crowfeather and Yellowfang. Remember, Yellowfang cusses!**


	3. Mommies and Daddies

**WARNING! CONTAINS SOMEWHAT MATURE CONTENT!**

Hollyleaf- Welcome back to Ask a Warrior! Today we're here with my f**kin daddy Crowfeather and Yellowfang!

Crowfeather- Sup.

Yellowfang- What's f**kin up.

Hollyleaf- Our first question if for me from Leopardtalon cat 'So did you and Breezepelt stay safe? Or are you guys having kits?'

Hollyleaf- NO! Even though I f**kin love my cusser.

Breezepelt- *kisses her*

Crowfeather- STOP KISSING!!! I RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS!!!

Hollyleaf- You never raised me at all.

Crowfeather- I mind raised you!

Yellowfang- SHUT THE F**K UP!!!

Runningwind- SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE IT!! IF SHE MOVES LIKE THIS WHEN YOU MOVE HER LIKE THAT, SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE IT!!!

Hollyleaf- Alright! This question is from Wildheart231 for Yellowfang 'Why do you smell so bad is it garlic?'

Yellowfang- *beats her with a Jayfeather stick candy* YOU SHUT THE F**K UP!!!! I AM IN STARCLAN I CAN MAKE YOU DIE!!!!

Hollyleaf- That was good Wildeh! Next question is for Crowfeather from

Wildheart231 'Who is your favorite mate?'

Leafpool, Feathertail, and Nightcloud: *all lean in towards the stage*

Crowfeather- None really.

Leafpool- CROWFEATHER! I risked my life to have your three kits and you don't love me?

Lionblaze- LOVE MY MOMMY! *tackles his daddy and pin him down*

Feathertail and Nightcloud- *both slap him good*

Leafpool- This one's for you CrowF**ker! Thanks for ruining my f**kin life!!! Don't you wish your girlfriend was HOT like me?!

Hollyleaf- SECURITY!!!! I'm getting scared of my mommy!

Lionblaze and Jayfeather- *walk in and take Leafpool*

Leafpool- Why are you here, Jayfeather?

Jayfeather- *smacks her* No sweet-talking, Mommy.

Leafpool- Ow.

Hollyleaf- Thanks bro! Our next question is from Mistycloud-

Mistycloud- HI!!!!

Hollyleaf- for Crowfeather ' Do you have crow's feathers on you? Because your name is Crowfeather.'

Crowfeather- That was a stupid question. I was named after Feathertail.

Feathertail- HA! He loves me more! *tackles Nightcloud*

Hollyleaf- SECURITY!!! GET MY DAD'S EXS OUTTA HERE!!!

Crowfeather- And allll my exs live in Texas…

Jayfeather- *takes Feathertail*

Lionblaze- *takes Nightcloud*

Hollyleaf- Next question is for Yellowfang from Dappleday ' Do you ever regret killing Brokenstar?'

Yellowfang- No. That little b**ch was annoying the sh*t outta me. 'Don't kill me.'

I had to give him a spanking for whining.

Hollyleaf- Okay then. Another from Dappleday, 'Did you think taunting Firestar was entertaining?'

Yellowfang- When did I ever taunt f**kin Firestar? He's my good son!

Hollyleaf- You mean…you're my great-great grandma?

Yellowfang- Ha, no.

Hollyleaf- GOOD! Here's one for Daddy from Dappleday 'Why the f**kin hell are you so mean to your son?'

Crowfeather- Cause he's in love with my daughter.

Hollyleaf- Does that mean you love me too?

Crowfeather- Yeah. *hugs her*

Hollyleaf- YAY! I'M LOVED!!

**Hollyleaf- Tune in next week for Hawkfrost and Mosskit!**

**Me- But their both dead!**

**Hollyleaf- Shut the f******k up, Mallory.**


	4. Stage of Secrets

**WARNING!! CONTAINS SOMEWHAT MATURE CONTENT!!!**

Hollyleaf- Hey, peoplez!! Glad you could come! Today we have Mosskit and Hawkfrost! Hawkfrost did not get enough get enough questions so I am going to have to make up some. HA!

Hawkfrost- *sulks*

Hollyleaf- Our first question is for me from Goldenheart- 'How did you become so f**kin awesome?'

Hollyleaf- Because I am and I pwn A**fur!

Hollyleaf- Anywho, our next question is from Littlepool-

Littlepool- HI!!!

Hollyleaf- And it is for me. 'Why are you so f**kin awesome? Your name is like my favorite!'

Hollyleaf- Aww! Thank you! *throws her a Hollyleaf plushie* HAPPY F**KIN BIRTHDAY WHENEVER IT IS!! Next question is for Mosskit from HP and WC Fan who says "You are so f**kin like Rowanclaw! Which gender are you?'

Mosskit- I'm a girl thank you very much author person.

Hollyleaf- Another one for you from Wildstar12- 'Do you blame Bluestar?'

Mosskit- No! I love my mommy! *huggles a Bluestar plushie*

Hollyleaf- Here's one for Hawkfrost from Goldenheart- 'Were you in love with any cat? NOT counting yourself.'

Hawkfrost- I love my Mistyfoot. And her kit called Hawkkit.

Hollyleaf- Here's another question from Wildstar12- 'Why did you listen to Tigerstar?'

Hawkfrost- Because I saw him kissing a Firestar plushie and he made me promise to not tell.

Hollyleaf- Okay then. Here's one from Hawkfrost from Zenpaw, "Is your mommy a loner?'

Hawkfrost- Yes, b**ch. You suck as well.

Hollyleaf Another from Zenpaw- "You are a b**ch.'

Hawkfrost- *beats her with a rubber chicken* DIE!!! DIE!! DIEEEEE!!!

Hollyleaf- SECURITY!!!!

Jayfeather and Lionblaze- *grab Hawkfrost's arms*

Hollyleaf- Wow that was the first time a contestant was arrested. Scourge! *snaps fingers*

The Director/Scourge- Yes?

Hollyleaf- Next time, we chain up the Dark Forest person. Also, bring me a low-fat chocolate latte with cinnamon sprinkles from StarClanBucks *looks at Mosskit*

Hollyleaf- And a small hot chocolate for the kid.

Mosskit- Yes!

*corny elevator music*

Director/Scourge- Here's the latte and the chocolate.

Hollyleaf- Thank you. Oh, and you have a question from Whisperfang *sips latte* 'Did you know that Bone and Brick made out behind your back?'

Director/Scourge- No! Bone! Get your stinking a** down here!

Cameraman/Bone- Yes, master?

Director/Scourge- Did you make out with this Brick person?

Cameraman/Bone- *hangs head* Yes.

Director/Scourge- F**k you. You're fired. Ashfur, you're hired.

Hollyleaf- Aw, sh*t.

Whisperfang- *runs in* Will you marry me Scourgey?

Director/Scourge- No. But I will do this. *grabs her, dips her as if they were in a dance, and kisses her*

Hollyleaf- A**fur!

Ashfur (now cameraman)- What the hell is it?

Hollyleaf- You have a question.

Whisperfang- 'Did you love Hollyleaf and were you having relationship issues?

Hollyleaf- OH GOD!!! *smashes camera*

**Next time, we will have Jayfeather and Firestar!**


	5. Reunion Concert

**Reunion concert! Everybody that was here and the other peeps are here!! **

Jayfeather- Let's drop!  
Yellowfang- Yeah, come on  
All- Shake, shake

Runningwind- I'll take you home If you don't leave me at the front door  
Crowfeather- (Leave me at the front door)  
Firestar- Your body's cold  
Breezepelt- But girl, we're getting so warm  
Hollyleaf- And I was thinking of ways that I could get inside  
(Get inside)  
Hollyleaf- Tonight you're falling in love  
(Let me go now)  
Mosskit- This feeling's tearing me up  
(Here we go now)

Toms- Now, if she does it like this  
She-cats- Will you do it like that?  
Toms- Now, if she touches like this  
She-Cats- Will you touch her right back?  
Toms-Now, if she moves like this  
She-Cats- Will you move it like that?  
Runningwind- Come on  
All- Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it  
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it  
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it  
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it  
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it

Snowkit- Your lips tremble  
Larchkit-But your eye's are in a straight stare  
(In a straight stare)  
Bone- We're on the bed  
Ashfur- But your clothes are laying right there  
Hollyleaf- And I was thinking of places that I could hide  
(I could hide)

Hollyleaf- Tonight you're falling in love  
(Let me go now)  
Mosskit- This feeling's tearing me up  
(Here we go now)

Toms- Now, if she does it like this  
She-cats- Will you do it like that?  
Toms- Now, if she touches like this  
She-Cats- Will you touch her right back?  
Toms-Now, if she moves like this  
She-Cats- Will you move it like that?  
Runningwind- Come on  
All- Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it  
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it  
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it  
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it  
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it

Breezepelt- I saw you dancing there  
I couldn't get you off my mind  
Hollyleaf- But I could tell, that you could tell  
That I was taking my time

Breezepelt- But I was thinking of ways  
To get you staying the night  
Hollyleaf- Your body's shaking  
Turn me on, so I can turn off the lights

Toms- Now, if she does it like this  
She-cats- Will you do it like that?  
Toms- Now, if she touches like this  
She-Cats- Will you touch her right back?  
Toms-Now, if she moves like this  
She-Cats- Will you move it like that?  
Runningwind- Come on  
All- Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it  
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it  
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it  
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it  
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it

Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it  
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it  
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it  
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it

Hollyleaf and Breezepelt- *kiss*


	6. Lattes

Hollyleaf- Hey f**kin dudes!!! Glad you could be here! I have one f**kin message for you guys. WHY DIDN'T MY BROTHER GET ANY QUESTIONS???!!!!

Jayfeather- What the flippin frogs?? I didn't?!

Hollyleaf- Go hug a tree, f**kin hippies.

Firestar- Uhh…the reunion concert was…good…But was with my line?

Hollyleaf- You get what you get b**ch.

Jayfeather- *texts on Blackberry*

Hollyleaf- What the crap, Jayfeather?

Jayfeather- Braille keyboard, dude, Braille keyboard.

Hollyleaf- Our first question is for Jayfeather that Haley101 messaged me, ' Do you love Cinderheart?'

Jayfeather- Nope. But she would look hot in a Speedo…

Hollyleaf- MOVING F**KIN ON!! Another question from HP and WC Fan is, 'What do you smell like?'

Jayfeather- Uh…. Grumpiness and herbs.

Hollyleaf- You got that right. Next is for Firestar from Wildheart231, 'Why are you so peaceful?'

Firestar- Because Leafpool isn't on booze anymore. And Squirrelflight isn't smoking.

Hollyleaf- Alright. Next is from Wildheart231 for me 'Do you do drugs?'

Hollyleaf- WHAT IS WITH ALL THE F**KIN FLAMERS!??!! I ALREADY TOLD YOU B**CHS THAT I AM NOT A F**KIN TWOLEG!!!!

Jayfeather- Medicine cat's orders. Take a chill pill.

Hollyleaf- Ba****d. GRANDMA SANDSTORM!!!

Sandstorm/Comfort Person- Yes?

Hollyleaf- I want a latte!

Sandstorm/Comfort Person- Chocolate with cinnamon sprinkles from StarClanBucks?

Hollyleaf- Yes please.

Sandstorm/Comfort Person- Okay.

Jayfeather- I want caramel coffee!!

Firestar- *kisses Sandstorm and whispers in her ear* And a bottle of chocolate syrup.

Sandstorm/Comfort Person- Ick, no! Go ask Quince!

Firestar- Mommy!!!

Quince/ Old lady Hollyleaf walks down the street to make her look good- Yes?

Firestar- I want my Syrup!

Quince/ Old lady Hollyleaf walks down the street to make her look good- Alright. *gives him it*

Firestar- Yay!

Hollyleaf- *sips latte* Aww sh*t. We're still on. From Wildheart231, "Are you jealous of Spottedleaf?'

Sandstorm/Comfort Person- Hell no! I'm his mate! Ha, Spottedleaf and Cinderpelt!

Firestar- Why am I a medicine cat magnet?

Hollyleaf- Well, that's the end of our short chapter!\

**Next time, we have Couples Night! Bluestar and Oakheart!! **


	7. Orange Mocha Frappicino

Hollyleaf- What's f**kin happening, ! Today we're with Bluestar and Oakheart! I have a very important message to everyone. We will no longer be answering questions for guests not on the show. Deal with it, b**chs..

Oakheart- O.o

Hollyleaf- Moving f**king on! Our first question is for Bluestar and Oakheart from Leopardtalon cat 'How did you fall in love in one night?'

Bluestar- We were already making out before that!

Oakheart- What she said!

Hollyleaf- Oookay. For Bluestar from XxFantasyxLovexX 'Why does Mosskit have gender issues?'

Bluestar- *is holding Mosskit in her lap* I can't believe Erin did that to her! She was thought to be male for much too long!

Hollyleaf- Next question is also from XxFantasyxLovexX 'When Crookedkit "fell" at Sunningrocks, were you the one that pushed him?'

Oakheart- Um…No, I am a snake charmer and I charmed an adder to freak him out, thus sending him flying into he rocks.

Hollyleaf- Alright. For Bluestar from Lightheart 'Why did you and Oakheart fall in love?'

Bluestar- B**ch! I got set on a blind date by Crookeda**!

Hollyleaf- Whoa! Moving f**king on! 'Has Scourge murdered anyone yet?'

Hollyleaf- Why the f**k does everyone rely on ME, of all people, for gossip! Go hug a tree, f**kn hippie Dappleday!

HP and WC Fan- That's not very nice, Hollyleaf.

Hollyleaf- Yeah, well, killing Ashfur wasn't very nice either.

Firestar- You did what , now?

Hollyleaf- Nothing! Also from Dappleday, 'Bluestar, what's our favorite thing about Oakheart?'

Bluestar- Well, he's charming, and is extremely careless with spray paint and matches.

Oakheart- I told you before, Mistykit was lighting a candle for Mosskit's funeral and Stonekit was helping me paint her coffin!

Hollyleaf- Not. Scourge!!

Scourge/Director- Do you want your latte?

Hollyleaf- Yes and I also want a mouse cupcake with catnip sprinkles from Barley's Baking Barn.

Scourge/Director- Okay.

Scourge/Director- Here's your latte and the cupcake.

Hollyleaf- Thank you.

Oakheart- I WANNA ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPICINO!!!!  
Everybody- *stares at him*

Oakheart- *shifts uncomfortably* What? Just because male models drink it doesn't mean its gay.

Firestar- NO STEALY MY ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPICINO!!!! *throws one at him*

Oakheart- Their mine!

*they fight, and Oakheart is lying on the floor*

Bluestar- Is he dead?

Hollyleaf- I dunno, poke him!

Bluestar- *carefully pokes him with a stick*

Jayfeather- NO!!! MY STICKY!!! *grabs it then sleeps with it*

12 minutes later

Jayfeather- Rock lied! *feeds the stick to a beaver*

Hollyleaf- Put a banana in your ear

Jayfeather- A banana in my ear?

Hollyleaf- Stick a ripe banana, right into your favorite ear. It's true.

Jayfeather- Not true.

Hollyleaf- So true.

Oakheart- SHUT THE F**K UP!!

Pause

Hollyleaf- I thought you were dead…


End file.
